When there is a big change in my life such as a new job, break up or new relationship, weight loss or birthing of a child I have cut, color or changed my hair. I think this is a way of reinventing myself. As a new change as has been made in my life I wonder what will my new do look like. Purple highlights, pink highlights or an erray of colors streaked through my hair. Definitely something bright and cheerful. for I am not going to mourn the loss of motherhood but embrace the opportunity I had and will always have to be a part in a childs life. I have two beautiful children, many nieces and nephews, tons of friends and their children and years of callings where I will be able to serve the Lord's children. When I was feeling down and had thoughts of dissappointment I was reminded of the Atonement and how my Savior understands every ounce of pain and loss I feel. He understands my emotion and suffered so I don't have to punish myself or place blame. I know my Heavenly FAther is aware of my needs. I know he hears my prayers and does not forget me. I have felt so much of his love through the compassion and service of my family and friends these few weeks. I am reminded daily how much I am loved. My Challenges and experiences have only strengthened my testimony, humbled my heart and made me so thankful for the gospel.If I just stop and look around for a second I realize he has given me all that I need to be happy. I don't need a million dollar home with empty rooms.I need a modest home filled with joy and laughter. I don't need a hefty job title and income to define our success. I just need a weekly allowance to Target and a husband who will provide for his family with an honest heart and with good work ethics. I don't need somebody else's image of a perfect body. I just need to be healthy and remind myself- I am not as good as I once was but I was good once as I ever was.And that was pretty dang cute. I don't need to be in a high calling. I just need to do my calling and give all that I am asked. I don't need to be a super mom but I want my kids to think I am super cool. I don't need a black amex card to flash around. I do need to have a valid temple recommend and be worthy to enter the Temple. I don't need to keep writing ..I am just going to go and live and enjoy everything i have. Love you family and friends.